quick question:

will i ever be happy?
cause i'm really starting to doubt it...
='(

Tired of being nice!
This shit is over!
I care too much about everybody else's problems and always try to help...
No more!
I'm the one who always gets fucked up!
I'm tired!
I just don't care anymore...

sick and tired

literally.
i'm sick.
and i'm tired.
so fucking tired.
and i need to sleep,
but i can't...


one of this days i'll run away...

Crazy shrinks... (part II)

Just forgot this one... it went kinda like this:

me: You see, I have a really bad memory...
I have to make lists of what I have to do just so I won't forget it...

shrink: And why do you think that is?
(shrink talk...)

me: I don't know, maybe the medication...? I've been taking these drugs for so long...

shrink: Well, I think it's because weather your anxious or you have Alzheimer's...
(kinda joking me...)

me: I'm not anxious everyday... I really have a memory problem...!

shrink: ...

me: Those are the only options?!

shrink: ... (yes)

me: Well, no, I don't think I have Alzheimer's...!

shrink: You'd be the first case I've seen of Alzheimer's at the age of 24...

me: 25


Now really, am I that crazy?!?

Crazy shrinks...

Am I the only one with a crazy shrink??
I mean, you kinda know when you need one, but still, they don't know everything about you!
That guy saw me like 3 times in 7 months and he thinks he knows me...?!
Do all psychiatrists have the need to find something big and dark that made us depressed?!
God, this guy is making things up, he's the crazy one...
I mention that I would like to go to this summer fest but I probably won't because I don't have the money... and he starts talking about the t-shirt I'm wearing, that has a radio stamped on it, and the reasons why I chose to wear it... OMG!
Now really, I chose that one to wear today because I had to iron a t-shirt to wear and of the big pile of clothes I have to iron, taht one was on top, and I just like it!


Come on is he crazy or what??
And the worst is that I hate to go look for another shrink, again, and tell him/her all over again, and still they will never know my entire life...
I'm tired of this shit.
More meds. A new one this time. More expensive...
Another thing, in December I paid 70€, in February 75€ and now I paid 85€! WTF?!?


Wish life could just get better...

just sometimes...

mine

(and it goes further...)

Just read on tumblr:

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the one who’ll decide where to go.”

—

Dr. Seuss

Just it...

Don't know if it is the working 13h yesterday,
the sleeping like 5h a night latelly,
the country being a mess...
I really don't know,
I'm just so fucking tired and so sick of it all...
Been feeling more depressed.
Was trying not to say it, but I would be hipocritical then...
Have been crying almost every night the last week.
Feel like it right now...


Really, just fuck all this shit.
The country, the bills, the not being able to do what i love...
Not being able to live, to be me...

Good news vs. Bad news

Today I got very good news and very bad news.
The "only difference" is that the good news aren't directly related
to me, and the bad ones are.
Anyways, I'd rather focus on the good ones because I'm really so
very happy for someone!!
Really, I'm so so so very happy for you honey! ^^
It kinda doesn't matter that I'm gonna have to pay 3.000€ for my IRS...
(f*cking country we live in...really starting to hate it...)